Family: A Message To Men

 Previously I have written somethings concerning my wife and my children, of whom I personally have a great love for. I started at the end of our family history, but that wonderful condition was not always so. I share this in hopes that any that read it, whose family life has entered into the turbulent waters of life, or that has run a ground on the rocks in the shallow pools of human existance may find hope, comfort, and strength. My home as every home, has gone through many hardships, but the thousand battles of its exsistence did cause it to become injured, scarred, and broken, because I refused to see the beauty of its sacred intimacies. So the ship that my wife and I set sail on to travel the journey of life became ship wrecked. Rather than going into the particular of this disastrous trip let us consider the rescue.


After the creation of man, God said, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" (Gen. 2:24). Until this scripture becomes reality your home has not really yet begun. When I was young I lived with a group of guys,though we lived together, it was not a home, each of us had are own separate lives. So when I became really honest with myself, I realized that my wife and I were living two separate lives. The two becoming one is the fundamental building block of marriage, until you understand that, and make a commitment to that, you will remain separate individuals living separate lives. Once you have estabished this fundamental building block, it will not matter whether you live in a cave or a castle. A man knows that when he leaves his father and mother he takes a wife, but not all cleave unto the wife, nor do they become one flesh. It is a result of a lack of this fundament building block, that one does not naviagate through the troublesome sea of life, which leads to the relationship becoming ship wrecked, or your vessel sinking to the bottom of the abyss.

1) You must make a commitment to the two becoming one fundamental building block, then your home, and rescue will begin. Unless this becomes a steadfast conviction there is no hope of success, because your commitment will be challenged on every front.

2) You need to stop courting other things, and start courting your wife. Your affections will be set on something such as, a job, a career, other women, Ect. Your zeal and vigor must be even greater then what you set on other things. You are not unfamiliar in the pursuits after other things, you certainly know how to court your wife, it may have been along time since you did, but you have pursued after her in the past, and you did win her, so you can do it again. You are not just simply salvaging your marriage, your salvaging yourself.

3) Your motivations must be pure, and you must not expect anything in return. What I mean by this is, whatever you do to court your wife must be done with pure motives, not, because you just got done doing something wrong, and you must not expect that everything is now made right. If that is your motivation then it will show, and do more harm than good. She has heard, I am sorry, I will not do it again, and please forgive me to many times. What is needed is fruit worthy of repentance, and it may take sometime before she see it, and is convinced of it. So unless your motives are pure, and you expect nothing in return, you will become frustrated, overwhemed, and defeated long before your relationship will ascend up from the ruin it is in.

4) You need to veiw your wife as a treasure that you can not affort to lose, nor live without. If you will continuously treat your wife in this manner, when the time comes that you fall short, and those times will come, your quick return to the cultivation of your love, will result in those weeds in the garden of your domestic paradise to be plucked up, and not allow them time to take root.