When I was a young girl, I
wanted someone to love, and someone to love me back. The only problem with that, was, I went
looking in all the wrong places. I
looked for love in my family, but they let me down, so I started to look
elsewhere, in other people,and friends but those that I thought were my friends were leading
me deeper and deeper into a troubled life, I did not know the direction I was
heading, I was about to head down a very dangerous road. I still didn’t feel that I
found the love I was looking for in my family, or friends I still had an empty
feeling in my heart that needed to be filled.
My search went on, then I
met my first love, well I thought it was love and for a short time things
seemed to go good, for about two years, and then there were tears, when I got
the call that he no longer wanted to see me, I was crushed, this was my first
broken heart. I thought I would never look for love again, love hurts too much.
I had enough, I left, moved
away, trying to forget, I was doing ok, until I met my second love, it wasn’t
long before I realized this was a big mistake, now I was having a baby, and he
wasn’t going to share me with the baby, and he started to get violent, home I went
as fast I could.
I wasn’t home very long,
before I was hanging around with the wrong crowd, it wasn’t hard, they lived
next door, and I started taking drugs and drinking. I no longer cared if I
found love or not, I began living for myself. Time went on, and then someone introduced
me to my third love, now that I was living for myself, I left to be with him, though I
wasn’t finding happiness, I still stayed with him, we drank, did drugs, and
partied. He spent sometime in jail and during this time I
had my second baby. When he was back, we
moved several times, and then we left the area and off we went not telling
anyone were we where going, he began to abuse me and my son, I felt like I had no
place to run. So I finally told him I wanted to go home, and to my surpise he brought me back,
but the abuse got worth, until I was afraid for my life, no were to go, I went
to a safe house until my family could get there to help me. Home at last, he
stalked me and scared me, and threatened all of us, but I stood my ground, and
soon he was back in jail, and I found out I was going to have another baby,
life goes on.
I started going to church,
and when I wasn’t looking for love, love found me; Jesus picked me up and
washed me clean, it’s as if I had never sinned.
I realized he was there all the time I was looking in all the wrong places.
Now I feel loved, and I am in love, love that is pure, it’s the love that only
Christ can give, and I thank him every day for his gift of love. He has given
me hope to carry on every minute of everyday he lifted those burdens off of my
heart, and given me strength to go on. My
children are grown now and there search has begun, I am so glad I taught them
how Jesus is a friend that sticks closer then a brother, and he will also give
them true hope, and true love. As long as they stay with him.
If you are looking for love, and
hope, look to Jesus that’s the only place you will find it, it's free to
them who believe, Jesus suffered and died so we can have it, if that isn't
love then I don’t know what is, why keep looking when it right there waiting for you to
except it. Don’t delay, let Jesus in your heart today.
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